Anger is one of the most powerful and explosive emotions that we have. When we get angry, our emotions are running high, and it is easy to lose control of ourselves. Anger is not inherently bad; anger can be a healthy way to express frustration. But when we direct anger at other people, it can be hurtful to them. The best way to control anger is to avoid getting angry in the first place.
People often lash out at other people first without realising the anger problem is within. Anger is a normal emotion that everyone experiences at some point. Anger can be described as a negative feeling linked to confrontation resulting from a perceived threat, insult or challenge which can be either a physical or psychological attack.
When a person is angry, they may feel irritable, or aggressive. This uncontrollable anger can be a trait or a nervous habit that the individual develops as part of their personality. People who are aggressive and angry are often labelled as rude or difficult to deal with.
What Causes Anger?
People can become angry for a few reasons. Frustration and anger are often linked to feelings of tension or nervousness, as well as to issues with communication and over-dependence. Several factors can contribute to an individual’s propensity to show anger.
There are many other reasons that can cause anger. It is easy to get angry in traffic when someone cuts you off, for example. It is also easy to get angry at work or at home if you have too much to do and you feel overwhelmed.
Grief, jealousy, fear and resentment could also lead to anger within the body. People hold onto these feelings for years.
Other causes of anger could be lack of sleep, not having fun, or eating poorly. These situations are usually not tied to anger but can contribute to it. Having a proper sleeping routine is one of the most important things you can do to provide your body with rest.
When you have had enough sleep, you are calmer and more patient with the world around you.
How to Deal with Anger
When you are angry you do not think straight as your emotions are all over the place. It’s easier to say hurtful things or break things, but when you learn to recognise that you are getting angry, you can change the feeling and your mind. By focusing your mind on another activity, you will start to feel better.
You can deal with anger in the following ways:
- Talking about your feelings with a friend.
- Doing an activity that you enjoy.
- Avoiding saying or doing anything until you have cooled down.
- Using physical exercise to get rid of the excess energy and anger.
- Getting a good night’s sleep.
- Reading an interesting book, watching a movie, taking a walk, or listening to relaxing music etc.
- Keeping yourself busy with many activities to take your mind off your anger.
- Meditating or practicing mindfulness to allow your body to restore its energy naturally.
How to Deal with Anger Issues
The first step is to understand why you are angry. Understand the cause, not the symptom. Once you understand why you are getting angry, you can examine that feeling and see where it originated from.
Anger can also be caused by the loss of a loved one or having a poor self-image. It can also be as simple as not having the correct sleep pattern.
By finding the cause of the anger issues you can finally deal with problems that could have been caused years ago. Once you understand why you are feeling anger, you can deal with the emotion effectively.
There are a few ways to do this. The first is through meditation on the subject. These include yoga which is beneficial to your health and your thinking patterns. By meditating you are clearing your mind. A great device for meditation is the iPad app Headspace. There are fifteen days free at the start of the app where you can work through ten minutes of guided meditation a day.
Benefits of practicing yoga include improved posture, deep relaxation, and a greater sense of well-being. Yoga is also a fantastic way to relax your body so that you can relax your mind as well.
How to Control Anger Outbursts
Now that we understand what causes our anger and the feelings associated with it, we can start to recognise when we are becoming angry and take steps to control it. We could choose to remove ourselves from the environment, take a deep breath and focus on something different. We could think of something positive to say that will improve the current situation.
If another person is insulting you or making you feel bad, a wonderful way to stop them is simply to ask, “Are you ok?”. This is a great psychological trick to make them think of their actions.
Another way to deal with this is, to drop something on the floor and as you pick the item up, you will start talking or ask a question. This is a great trick to lead the conversation in a unique way.
How to Control Anger and Emotions
The only way I know to properly control your anger and emotions is to meditate every day for 10 minutes. Famous people like Oprah Winfrey, and Tony Robbins meditate every day. Science is starting to recognise the benefits of it.
You could do a basic meditation with some music on in the background, close your eyes and just listen to the music. You can also close your eyes and imagine sitting next to a river or lake, staying in that state for 10 minutes. It will do wonders for you.
Once you have been meditating for two weeks, people around you will wonder why you are so calm and stable. It does not cost you anything and it is a wonderful way to heal the body.
Coping with anger is something we all must do, whether you let it get the better of you or not. Everyone gets angry, but the difference between someone who lets it get to them and someone who does not is their ability to gain control over themselves. Once you learn to control your emotions you can also control your anger, and eventually your overall health and well-being.